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she added quietly. "He wanted something more for Lariat. He got that from his grandfather," she
added with a weary sigh. "Ben Hollister filled Cade's head full of dreams. He was always telling him
stories about Lariat in the early days, about the parties and elegance and the famous people who used
to come here when Desiree Hollister was alive. You might not believe it, but in its day Lariat was
something of a showplace. This house was built when the old one burned down. The old one was like
an antebellum mansion, and there was money here. Then Desiree died and old Ben just let it go out of
grief." She put down the embroidery to sip coffee. "The house burned down and he built this one.
Coleman was his only child, you know, and he let him run wild. He never tried to do for him what
Desiree would have. As a result Coleman grew up rough and without some of the more desirable
character traits. He brought Cade up the same way, and I was too afraid of him to say anything," she
confessed quietly. "He was intimidating," Bess recalled. "That he was. I cared about him, in my
way," she added. "But I never had many illusions about him, and I've never told any of the boys how I
really felt. Coleman had one affair after another. There was even some talk about one of Cade's
girlfriends. I've never said this to anyone else, but I was almost glad he had other women. I hated him
that way most of all, because he never cared for my pleasure." She shivered a little. "So you can see
why it was easy for me to forgive Gussie," she added with a sideways glance. "You can't be jealous
of a man who hurts you." Bess had to bite her tongue not to confess what Gussie had told her about
that "affair." She didn't have the right to say anything, but she wanted to. "Cade wants children right
away," Bess blurted out. "Yes, I know." Elise smiled at her. "Bess, a child would be the best thing
that could happen for both of you. Cade's reached the age where he feels his own mortality. He wants
the security of children. He wants a family of his own to provide for, to work for." "I do too," she
replied, lowering her eyes. "He hasn't said anything, but I don't think he's happy that I haven't gotten
pregnant yet." She didn't add that it would be impossible, or that even if she hadn't been barren, she
would have needed a little cooperation from her husband. "He's impatient," Elise said. "He's getting
older and he's waited a long time for you. He does care for you very much." "I only wish he loved
me," Bess said softly. "Because I love him more than my own life." "I know. I've always known." She
patted Bess's hand. "Give it time. Everything will be all right." But would it? That night when Cade
came in, Bess was still awake, sitting up in bed in her pretty cotton pajamas with her hair around her
shoulders, reading. He stopped in the doorway and looked at her with cool, searching eyes. "Not
sleepy? I hope you aren't in the mood for sex, because I can't oblige. I'm tired." She blushed angrily as
he closed the door and proceeded to the adjoining bathroom for a shower with- out bothering to look
at her again. By the time he came out again, in nothing but blue-striped pajama bottoms, his
magnificent body bare from the waist up and his hair damp, she was fuming. "You needn't worry
about my base desires," she told him icily. "I can live without sex just fine, thanks." He looked down
at her with cool, indifferent eyes. "That wasn't the case when we first came back here, was it, Mrs.
Hollister?" he asked with a mocking smile. "In fact you couldn't get enough of it." She averted her
eyes to the bedcover. Yes, he was still mad about her blatant seduction. Probably that had been eating
him all this time and he'd just kept it bottled up. She tugged at the sheet. "I'm sorry about that," she
stammered. "I thought that it might make up for . . . for the babies." He stood very still. "You thought
what?" Her eyes closed. She had to tell him. They couldn't go on like this. The deceit was making her
miserable, and so was her conscience. What Elise had said tonight about his child-hunger and the
reasons for it had hurt. "Cade, I can't give you a child," she said through stiff lips.
Chapter 19 Cade stared at her without speaking for one long, endless minute. He couldn't believe that
he was hearing her properly. "You mean you don't want my children, is that it?" he asked icily. She
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