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* * *
Mr. Sturgeon sat at the breakfast table staring distastefully at his
jack-in-the-box. "Mildred," he said thoughtfully, "it's too bad the barracuda
didn't win this thing. Everything else happened to her last night."
"Poor Miss Scrimmage," sighed Mrs. Sturgeon, pouring coffee for two. "It
certainly wasn't her night. As if the eggs and the owl and the rabbit weren't
enough, her well-bred young ladies proved how shy and demure they really are."
"Let's not be smug, Mildred. The reaction of our boys was nothing to be proud
of. It leaves me with the problem of what to do about Bruno and Melvin."
"Why, let them continue their efforts, of course!" his wife exclaimed. "We've
never had such school spirit!"
The Headmaster nodded in agreement. "Take a boy like Elmer Drimsdale," he
said. "He's never taken part in anything before, and he's never had any
friends. Bruno has brought him into the mainstream of things. I think all this
fund-raising may be good for the school." He chuckled. "It's just not very
good for Miss Scrimmage."
"Would you care for some French toast, dear?"
"No, thank you," her husband replied. "That Scrim-cake you made me eat last
night hasn't quite gone down yet."
* * *
A dozen or so boys were gathered around the lunch table.
"That brings our total to $1,547.65," announced Elmer Drimsdale, "which is
6.1906% of our objective. We still need $23,452.35."
"At our present rate of income," said Chris Talbot, "by the time our pool is
built our arthritis will be too severe for us to be able to swim."
"Not quite," said Elmer. "At our present rate, we will have twenty-five
thousand dollars in approximately eleven months, two weeks and three days.
Common arthritis does not develop so rapidly."
"Don't worry," Boots put in sarcastically. "Bruno is buying a lottery ticket.
We're going to win a hundred thousand."
"Oh," said Chris. "Well, that's different."
"According to the odds," said Elmer, "I calculate that we have a better
chance of being stung to death by bees than of winning first prize in the
lottery."
"Given a choice," said Bruno, "I'd rather win the money. By the way, why is
it that not one of you is down on his knees to me for that glorious show last
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night? It was my idea, after all."
All the boys began chattering at once.
"Boy, those Scrimmettes!"
"Elmer stole the show!"
"The rabbit stole the show!"
"Istole the show!"
"The Scrimmettes!"
"Face it, Miss Scrimmage stole the show!"
"What about the Amazing Frederick's mother?"
"And when the door prize exploded in The Fish's face& "
"But theScrimmettes !"
"Yes," said Boots soberly. "The Scrimmettes. Bruno, we haven't heard the end
of that."
"Itwas memorable," Bruno agreed with a smile.
"I'llnever forget it," seconded Wilbur Hackenschleimer from the depths of a
chicken pot pie.
Bruno ignored him. "Chris," he said, "we need posters."
"You know, Ido go to school here," Chris protested.
"You and a lot of others could end up going to school elsewhere if this
campaign doesn't work," Bruno reminded him. "How about this:Win a Contest for
Macdonald Hall ?"
"Fine," Chris agreed. "Now, what are you talking about?"
"Contests," Bruno repeated. "Every cereal box, every candy bar, every
magazine has them. There's money and prizes out there, and Macdonald Hall is
ready to claim its share. Every single kid at this school will be entering
contests. Whatever we win will go into the pool fund."
"What about Scrimmage's?" asked Mark.
"Them too," Bruno agreed. "Eight posters six for us and two for them." He
slapped one of the two buckets which formed the table's centrepiece. "Grab
one, Boots. We've got to take the money to The Fish for banking."
"To his house?" Boots asked nervously.
"Well, he's not at the office. Besides, it's better at his house. Mrs.
Sturgeon will be there and she'd never let him kill us."
"If it hadn't been for her and her camera," mourned Butterfingers Rampulsky,
"I wouldn't have chucked four eggs at Miss Scrimmage."
This incited more laughter.
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Bruno and Boots hoisted their buckets and started out of the cafeteria
building. Not two steps from the door, Boots let out an unearthly howl and
collapsed in his tracks, pointing wordlessly towards the sky.
"What? What? What?" asked Bruno, trying to follow the wildly pointing finger.
Then he saw it. At the very top of the flagpole, its brown feathers stirring
in the light breeze, was Miss Scrimmage's hat.
When their laughter had died down, Bruno finally managed to say, "We can't
just leave it up there. It'll upset The Fish. Boots, you go up and get it
down."
"Me? Why me? It was your precious Elmer Drims-dale who conjured up the owl
that put it there! Let him go up and get it!"
"Don't argue with me," Bruno said. "We've got a chance to make some points
with Miss Scrimmage. Now get up there and rescue that hat!"
Thoroughly defeated, Boots walked up to the flagpole and began to climb. A
small crowd of Macdonald Hall boys started gathering on the lawn, while across
the road, on a grassy hill, a group of girls was forming a cheering section.
When Boots was about three-quarters of the way to the top and the tip of the
flag was tickling his face, a sudden gust of wind lifted the hat from the pole
and carried it soaring through the air. It settled down gently onto the
highway where it was immediately run over by a wedding procession consisting
of approximately thirty beribboned cars, horns honking. The crowd cheered
madly, and the last sight Boots saw before he slid, fireman fashion, to the
ground was Miss Scrimmage standing on the balcony waving her arms at him.
Students from both schools converged on the road and stood looking down in
great glee at the wreckage of Miss Scrimmage's hat. It was as flat as a
pancake, newly decorated with white ribbon and a cardboard sign which
read:Good Luck Mary and Frank . A group of girls picked up the hat and carried
it home to their Headmistress.
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