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got to the pseudonym. Hey, can I be Butch Cassidy? He
looked at Zack. You can be the Sundance Kid.
You can be Butch , Ed said, but nobody is going to
believe a straight guy with the name Sundance . Your friend
can be Robert , if he likes. After Robert Redford?
Larry seemed to like that idea, so that s what Zack wrote
down.
Ed signed the forms after they did and used a desktop
scanner to print copies for them.
Now, why don t you two go have a seat on the couch,
and we ll begin?
The couch? Already?
Don t you want to interview us? Zack asked quickly.
We re Both Straight, Right? | Jamie Fessenden | 45
Are you and your debonair friend both anatomically
male?
Zack blinked at him. Um& yes.
End of interview! Ed exclaimed, clapping his hands
together in delight. You re hired!
Look, kid, Ed added when Zack continued to stare at
him, I can already see that you re exactly what we re looking
for good-looking, straight-acting, and the right age to be
both legal and in college. So, unless you re changing your
mind
No! Larry interrupted. We re good.
Then let s make a movie!
THE film was apparently going to follow the format Zack had
seen in the online clips. First they d sit on the couch fully
clothed while Ed asked them questions from off camera. At
various points during the conversation, he d ask them to
take articles of clothing off: first their shirts, then their
pants, and finally their underwear. From there, they d
progress to masturbating while the conversation continued.
Then he d ask them to give each other hand jobs and
eventually to suck each other.
Now, which one of you is going to be the bottom? Ed
asked.
Bottom? Zack asked.
When we get to the anal part.
What? Zack had begun to think this situation wasn t
all that bad. But now, all of his fears of the sleazy porn
underworld came rushing back. You re expecting us to
fuck?
We re Both Straight, Right? | Jamie Fessenden | 46
Of course, Robert . Didn t Alphonso tell you about that
part?
Zack grabbed the paper from where he d set it down on
top of his windbreaker. Ed came over to glance over his
shoulder as he hurriedly read through it, looking for a
mention of anal sex. There wasn t anything. It s not in here.
If we actually listed sex acts on paper, we could be
arrested for procuring, and you could be arrested for
solicitation.
Then you can t force us to do that?
Ed sighed and rolled his eyes at him. I m sure Butch
over there could break me in half if I tried to force either of
you to do anything. But we pay five hundred each for one
of you to fuck the other. And you each get another five for all
the rest of it. But it s the anal our fans want to see. I ll still
film you if you don t want to fuck, but you ll only get half pay
for it.
Zack had an image in his head of Steve laughing his ass
off at the frat house. Asshole.
Dude, Larry told Zack, it s cool. I ll be the bottom.
Zack looked up at his friend and once again saw the
trust in those eyes, the certainty that Zack would never hurt
Larry. No matter what. Zack just hoped he could live up to
that.
If you say so, he replied.
There! Ed said, smiling. All settled. Shall we get on
with it?
We re Both Straight, Right? | Jamie Fessenden | 47
SITTING around fully clothed and answering questions
should have been the easy part, but they quickly ran into a
snag.
Do either of you have girlfriends? Ed asked.
Zack and Larry glanced at each other and shook their
heads. No.
Cut!
The two young men turned to him in surprise.
All right, Ed said patiently. You can t both not have
girlfriends.
Why not? Larry asked.
Well, in real life, of course, anything is possible. But
this is The Movies! It looked more like a warehouse with a
digital camera and a cheap light kit to Zack, but he kept his
mouth shut. One of you should have a girlfriend. And you
don t want her to find out you re fucking a guy for money.
Got that?
Okay, Larry replied with a shrug. I ll have a
girlfriend.
Ed hesitated for a second, looking him up and down.
Eh& no offense, sweetie, but I ve seen your technique. What
say we give the girlfriend to your friend with the social
skills?
Nicki snickered at that, and Zack had to smile too. But
if Larry was offended, he shrugged it off quickly, and they
went back to filming.
Zack answered the questions the way Ed wanted as they
began undressing. He even managed to improvise a bit about
the sexual things he enjoyed doing with his fictional
girlfriend, whose name he chivalrously declined to mention.
All of this while he was stroking his erect cock. He never
We re Both Straight, Right? | Jamie Fessenden | 48
would have thought he could do something like that with
three strangers watching. But Ed was completely casual
about it not lecherous, as Zack had feared he might be.
And Nicki and Paul were more interested in fiddling with the
microphones, lights, and camera than really watching what
Zack and Larry were doing. It almost didn t seem sexual.
Except of course, that Zack needed to keep himself
aroused. Fortunately, watching Larry jerk off was still
enough to drive him wild, no matter what else was going on
around him.
Segueing into jerking each other off went smoothly
enough. Then Ed asked, I assume neither of you has ever
kissed a guy before?
Oh, sure, Larry replied. He s a great kisser.
Cut!
This time, Zack didn t have to be told what was wrong.
I thought you guys said you were straight! Ed was
flailing his arms about in exasperation while Nicki laughed
and shook her head.
Well, we had to practice, Larry said defensively.
Practice? The whole point is that you re supposed to be
two straight guys trying gay sex for the first time on camera!
You don t practice for that!
Zack thought Nicki was going to drop her boom mic, she
was laughing so hard. Her father finally spoke up and said,
Nicki, we re trying to be professional here.
Sorry.
Look, Zack said, trying to calm Ed down, we can just
pretend we ve never kissed before. It ll be fine.
We re Both Straight, Right? | Jamie Fessenden | 49
He s been on film less than an hour, and now he thinks
he s Lawrence Fucking Olivier.
Come on, Ed, Paul said. Half the guys who do these
straight guy, first time things have been fucked so many
times, you could drive a semi through their assholes.
Ed coughed in a failed attempt to disguise a laugh, then
waved his hands in the air. Fine, fine. At least you re both
easy on the eyes.
We haven t done anal yet, Larry pointed out. Just
hearing the word anal made Zack cringe.
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