[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
What s the big deal? wondered Skag as he wolfed down a
bacon sandwich in the kitchen. She s getting a free week in
Tuscany, the stupid bitch! She s unemployed so what s her bleeding
problem?
Who knows? Wilson handed Karim Khan a bowl of bran
flakes and milk. That young lady is temperamental at times. I ve
made provisions for the safety of all ornamental pieces about the
house by packing them away in the shed.
He s under the thumb, that s the problem!
An hour later Benjamin came down to the kitchen to confirm
that Jane would be coming to Italy with them.
Did she go quietly? Skag smiled smugly.
She had a few appointments in London that she didn t want
to miss, Benjamin explained.
Appointments or dates?
They flew out to Italy the following day and were in the Villa
by the afternoon. It was enchanting with gorgeous green gardens
spreading across the hills. The house itself was huge. A seven bed
roomed little palace, it had a swimming pool out the back as well
as a Jacuzzi and a patio the size of a football pitch decorated with
pot plants and water fountains.
Jane sat by the pool dressed in jeans and a cardigan reading
DH Lawrence while chain smoking and ignoring everyone else.
Karim, Benjamin and Skag larked about in the pool as Wilson did
some much needed spring cleaning in the Villa.
That warm sun lit evening they all dined on the patio to eat
Proscuttio ham and melon. Apart from Karim who tucked into a
fruit salad that Wilson had prepared especially for him.
I m glad I inherited this place, Benjamin relaxed in his
chair at the head of table whilst sipping on his chilled Chianti.
Looking out across the enchanting landscape he hummed in
contentment. Isn t it beautiful?
Yes, agreed Skag. You re a lucky cunt!
Please Mr Franks, Wilson began. Don t use that type of
language at the dinner table.
This part of Italy is just so gorgeous, smiled Benjamin. It
inspires the artist in me.
You bleeding artists usually have each other in you, Skag
brought up some mucus in the noisiest possible way before spitting
it in the pool.
Is Mistress Jakes not coming down to dinner? enquired
Wilson with a frown as he refilled everybody s glasses.
Eh no& .she s got a migraine.
Oh dear. I wasn t aware we shared afflictions.
Neither was I. She s never had one before.
I find them such an inconvenience, Wilson stood at table
folding a cloth over his arm. I once had one as Great Uncle
Broderick and I were sky diving over Morocco. I didn t fully
appreciate the experience thanks to those irritating bright lights. I
have some tablets if Mistress Jakes would like something to
alleviate the pain?
No, Benjamin shook his head. Best leave her be.
Oh listen to yourselves! cried Skag as Karim pulled out his
mat and went to pray on the patio. Migraine? Are you having a
laugh? She ain t got no fucking migraine! She s in a mood with
you Benji! She s sulking because she had to come out here.
But why the hell wouldn t she want to come out here?
Benjamin indicated the landscape.
I don t know mate but I reckon she might be having an
affair!
Never! Jane? Never!
Yeah, yeah! They all seem lovely and refined but deep down
they re all cock hungry and spunk thirsty.
Could you not say stuff like that while I m praying? Karim
straightened up on his knees with his hands on his hips.
Yes Master Franks, added Wilson. I wish you wouldn t use
such crude vernaculars.
Like what?
What you just said.
That Jane is cock hungry and spu&
Yes all of the above! shouted Karim. It puts me off when
I m praying to Allah. Plus, when I m praying to him he might hear
all that s going on about me& .
You re not on the bleeding telephone you dozy Muslim!
I don t want him hearing such profanities!
Listen! Skag leant forward in his seat. I was just saying
that his bird is obviously not keen on being here because she has
someone back in London. Basically, she s playing away from home!
Mind you, the amount of time she s at home is like that season
that Fulham didn t have their own ground!
Shut up Skag! barked Benjamin.
They scored a lot that season as well.
I m going somewhere to get some peace! Karim rolled up
the mat and marched off across the fields to finally pray beneath a
tree.
And they let a lot in as well, continued Skag, seemingly
oblivious to his old friend s glares and the disapproving
countenance of Wilson. Open goal half the time! Gaping big gaps
so that everyone could have a go.
I don t know what s wrong with her, said Benjamin. But I
hope it s not that.
That she s playing for Fulham?
No, that she s found someone else.
Nah, I m sure she hasn t, Skag patted him on the arm. I
would only be seriously worried if she s been hanging about with
new friends and doesn t spend much time with you.
Nobody spoke until Karim returned to the table.
Ah, that s better, he said as he sat down.
Was he in then? asked Skag.
He s never out.
The thing about religion is& .
I must go and check on the lamb, Wilson went inside.
Yes? Karim wondered what was coming.
It s all fucking bollocks.
I see, Karim raised an eyebrow. Thanks for your
surmising. I must go away now and rethink my life.
But it is though isn t it?
I don t know, Benjamin shrugged. But we should all
respect each other s beliefs.
I agree mate, Skag poured himself another Chianti. But
you know, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, it s all
bullshit.
What makes you so sure? fired back Karim.
I see all these religious nutters& y know like those bald
weirdos and those ragheads, and I think what s all the bleeding
fuss? They go around shouting on about Jesus and Buddha and
Allie and all that. They ring bells and make their women dress up
like post boxes& .it s all a bit stupid. I think Newton had the final
word and all you Hindus and Muslims and Catholics should just
clear up your stuff and fuck off.
What s Newton got to do with this? asked an
understandably puzzled Benjamin. Did gravity replace God? Oh
I m not with you.
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
